They grew up together having a pretty bad childhood as their dad was abusive towards their mum, and so have been very close. She has taken delight at our marital problems(she is the cause) .When her husband died our marriage was totally over. All rights reserved (About Us). I said nothing and don’t intend to, but I can’t get it out of my mind. DEAR DANCING FOOL: Your feelings are your feelings. Dear Abby: What if my granddaughter’s sleuthing reveals my lie? Miss Manners: It's her fault that I can't understand what she said, Harriette Cole: My friend lost our big bet and now he won't speak to me, Ask Amy: I want him to hand over what my mom bequeathed him, That doozy of a second dose: What side effects people are reporting from COVID vaccine. I was shown the tape later at a family gathering. If I say anything about it, he jumps all over me, defending her. he has the baby weeks at a time. I have been with my boyfriend for a year now (I am 21 and he is 20) and recently I have been getting really angry over his relationship with his sister. ... Lonely husband. That said, that he spends more time with his sister than with you and the children is unusual. “She married my ex-boyfriend and is still married to my ex-boyfriend but just has never mentioned it to me. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. It makes me wonder about the state of your own marriage. I can no longer talk about his sister with him; it’s off limits. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. I have never been able to figure his angry,demeaning personality out until a marriage counselor said the word narcissist. The problem is, the home is located within a nudist colony and, therefore, we assume they are in fact nudists. in the “perfect” situation you are thinking of, you would probably get married, im assuming, and with that comes the legal and social implications of you and he becoming each other’s next of kin. If I say anything about it, he jumps all over me, defending her. My boyfriend (27 years old)and his sister (24 years) have a relation that makes me very uncomfortable because-1. My husband trusts me completely, and I trust him." I can no longer talk about his sister with him; it’s off limits. "One of my husband's closest friends is a woman," she says. We are not close with our new in-laws, who live out of state. But you have two choices: The first is to continue to stew about it. My husband and I have been married for 10 years and although his ex-wife made the beginning of our marriage a struggle, we don't have to deal with her much anymore. I was shown the tape later at a family gathering. I’m sure she wouldn’t be divorcing her husband if the marriage had been a bed of roses, and she may need private time with her brother to help her detoxify. I just broke up with a man that I have been dating for 4 years and I have fought for 4 years against the weird relationship he has with both his Mom and his Sister. I think his relationship with his sister is weird, and other people have said they think so, too. DEAR ONLY THE WIFE: Has your husband always been close to this sister? He is with her a lot and while she doesn't call the shots, he is … But you have two choices: The first is to continue to stew about it. But Abby, she has two grown sons and a husband she recently decided to divorce. I brought this up to my husband and he doesn’t seem to think anything of it and was very offended that I would be weary of him being alone with our kids. Subscribe to OregonLive. Get Morning Report and other email newsletters. I started out really liking my sister-in-law but then I started noticing that she is flirty with my partner (her husband’s brother). We are not close with our new in-laws, who live out of state. We have found out over the years that my husband's ex still tlaks to his parents and siblings - even sending them pictures of her and her new family. Boyfriend (25M) has weird relationship with his sister, makes me (23F) uncomfortable. Dear Abby: There must be a reason she doesn't invite me out with her other friends, Dear Abby: He treated my husband's funeral as a joking occasion, and my kids saw, Ask Amy: She won't shut up about how I need to fix my life. Instead, it was passed around and everyone laughed and made fun of me. The problem is, the home is located within a nudist colony and, therefore, we assume they are in fact nudists. With your husband and his sister, it sounds as though they're just being silly and affectionate and there's nothing more to it than that. Thank you so much for this article. My husband of 29 years spends more time with his sister and her family than he does with me and our children. However, if you are worried that either of you will be forced to view or participate in nude activities when you visit your son, all you have to say is, “I think we’ll stay at a nearby hotel, thank you.”. There has been a couple of times where he deletes the messages he sends his sister and it seemed weird, he never deletes his messages and he would just delete those messages and left everything else alone. © 2021 Advance Local Media LLC. (she is one year younger than him). We have a 15-year-old grandson from his previous marriage who lives with his mom and who visits his dad every other weekend. I feel as if you read my mind when writing this. I want to THANK YOU for this article. Mysterious creature visits San Jose backyard -- what was it? i think this just boils down to the fact that he is unwilling to have the kind of intimacy/closeness he has with his sister/family (not in a weird way) with you. He says she doesn’t have anyone to help her. DEAR WONDERING: I don’t think there is anything to be worried about. I was devastated. If you downplay it, it will go away. I kind of had a weird feeling but chose to ignore it. Brother in law has never had a relationship of any kind, hand holding, kissing, etc. I have gone through chemo etc . They shared a love for sports like football and basketball. Dear Abby: My husband is weirdly close to his…, Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window), Dear Abby: My husband is weirdly close to his sister, and people are noticing, Dear Abby: He treated my husband’s funeral as a joking occasion, and my kids saw, Dear Abby: There must be a reason she doesn’t invite me out with her other friends. It makes me wonder about the state of your own marriage. I am happy for the story to be published on your site, but it has to please be anonymous. We recently found out that they have purchased a second home very close to our son. Nobody wants to be made fun of. If your husband or boyfriend continues to hurt you or make you feel uncomfortable through his inappropriate relationships with other women, you should set boundaries. I think his relationship with his sister is weird, and other people have said they think so, too. If he doesn’t want to take you up on your offer, then it’s time to consult a lawyer, and figure out how you want to handle child support, and custody. A reader asks: My boyfriend and I are in our mid-twenties. Please help. DEAR DANCING FOOL: Your feelings are your feelings. Dear Abby: Should I tell her she’s the reason I quit Facebook? I have a situation and would LOVE some advice. My husband says I’m overreacting. In the podcast which was released in August last year, McKenney was asked about his relationship with his sister. The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except with the prior written permission of Advance Local. If you downplay it, it will go away. I have been told that my husband is very close to his brothers' kids and his sister in law has taken good care of him (my husband's parents had passed away). It may be the reason he is spending time with her. he plans everything around her. I chose to ignore it, in case I was reading it wrong or imagining it. Nobody wants to be made fun of. If you are concerned that your grandson will “see” something shocking, please know that he can find whatever he is curious about on his computer or cellphone. DEAR ABBY: I recently attended a wedding and was videotaped while I was dancing. It is a word I never heard of, but it fits my husband perfectly. I have personally found that if a person pushes "who told you, who told you!" WWS. He completely clings to his mother. My husband of 29 years spends more time with his sister and her family than he does with me and our children. Fast forward months later, and now my husband is constantly texting his late brother's wife about football and basketball games, scores, fantasy leagues, you name it. How will you respond? The mother and son relationship is too weird for me. I get that they both connect about sports, but it makes me feel awkward. My husband says I’m overreacting. There are … Intense family bonds generally slacken when one sibling gets married, but it sounds like your husband and his sister have been interdependent for too long. Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email. The second is to join in the laughter, admit you don’t dance like a gazelle — few people do — and let it go. Registration on or use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement, Privacy Policy and Cookie Statement, and Your California Privacy Rights (each updated 1/1/21). DEAR ABBY: I don’t know how to handle this. “She married my ex-boyfriend … so we have a weird relationship,” McKenney told host Benjamin Norris. A job opened up in his field near my family, so we moved there and bought a house. -- WONDERING IN THE SOUTH, DEAR WONDERING: I don’t think there is anything to be worried about. I have been married to my husband for 22 years. One person even called it creepy. DEAR ABBY: Our 47-year-old son remarried two years ago. When I told my husband I thought it was a weird relationship, he yelled at me. Him deflecting about how he had wet dreams about his step sister doesn't help his case. The behavior between his sister and him is bizarre to the point I can’t take it anymore and I don’t know if I’m wrong in thinking this way or not. If it was a lie anyone would shrug it off. Dear Abby: I’m not interested in men, but they flock to me anyway. my husband only has empathy for her. As far as the relationship with his sister...you state that he was sick as a child. It seems as though we can't do anything without him wanting her and her boyfriend to be there as well. When I told my husband I thought it was a weird relationship, he yelled at me. -- DANCING FOOL IN OHIO. Am I? That said, that he spends more time with his sister than with you and the children is unusual. It was embarrassing and hurtful. But Abby, she has two grown sons and a husband she recently decided to divorce. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. One person even called it creepy. I said nothing and don’t intend to, but I can’t get it out of my mind. 2. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. DEAR ABBY: I don’t know how to handle this. DEAR ABBY: I recently attended a wedding and was videotaped while I was dancing. Chill, you can assume, yes, your husbands most likely had sexual interactions with his sister once upon a time. My question is, what do you want to do with this knowledge? Should this be a problem for us (we are both 70), or should we not be concerned? We’ve been together for 3 years and it’s a serious relationship. I’m sure she wouldn’t be divorcing her husband if the marriage had been a bed of roses, and she may need private time with her brother to help her detoxify. Rather than being jealous, maybe you should focus on the positive influence that you seem to have with him. If you are concerned that your grandson will “see” something shocking, please know that he can find whatever he is curious about on his computer or cellphone. Brother- Sister situation. A humongous relationship red flag is a partner trying to isolate you from the people who have been in your life since before the relationship. They have nothing to do with your marriage, because they are not in the marriage and you did not get married to them. For 33yrs I have tolerated this evil cruel monster.My husband never left his parents and his father (now dead)jumped every time the witch spoke. Ask Amy: Was I wrong to leave my boyfriend over this one problem? Note to readers: if you purchase something through one of our affiliate links we may earn a commission. My husband (30M) and I (26F) had a baby recently and wanted to move out of the city. Husband weird relationship with sister. We have a 15-year-old grandson from his previous marriage who lives with his mom and who visits his dad every other weekend. Dear Bossip,. If you can't seem to make your husband see that his "cozy" relationship with his own sister is a little incestral and weird, you could try talking to a counselor or do some research on the web about families who have this type of sibling dysfunction. DEAR ABBY: Our 47-year-old son remarried two years ago. Five years ago a drunk driver killed my wife. -- ONLY THE WIFE. I’m not a great dancer, and I looked silly, so I asked that the video be deleted. It may be the reason he is spending time with her. Need exclusive stories only we can tell? Several times, he’s called me by her name. The problem is my boyfriend’s relationship with his only sibling, a sister. He always used to tell me that he has strong ties with his bhabhi and that she takes care of him and they both share a close 'friendship'. If there is stress and tension the two of you can’t resolve together, you may need to consult a licensed marriage and family therapist. All Access Digital offer for just 99 cents! The issue is not about how you found out but is it true or not. Dear Prudence, I am a widower in my mid-30s. I have been married for 3 and half years now, and have been insecure about my husband’s relationship with his younger sister. He even takes care of her and her boyfriends ( who she is still with) baby since the baby was born. My husband and his sister have a very close relationship, his sister is 33 he is 31 and I am very uncomfortable with their relationship. My husband of 28 years is having an emotional affair, via the Internet, with his cousin, who lives in another country. Upvoted – The official Reddit blog. Instead, it was passed around and everyone laughed and made fun of me. We recently found out that they have purchased a second home very close to our son. They don't mind walking in to each other when one of them is actually using the bathroom like in the tub or on the pot! Community Rules apply to all content you upload or otherwise submit to this site. It was embarrassing and hurtful. At the last family dinner, he was playing footsies with her under the table. I have been married for a few months. My step-son is 19. It has been so difficult living with him and has torn me down emotionally. One person even called it creepy. Please help. You should begin, by understanding that this is NOT about the sisters of your husband. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. For the first couple of years I was in a sad, isolated, and withdrawn state. Hi I was wondering if anyone can give me advice on this problem I’m having with my husband .