Welcome to r/dadjokes - a homely place for the best and worst of jokes that make you laugh and cringe in equal measure. How necromantic! b r u h m o m e n t; Moderators. — Submitted to … Dumbass Mf. One of the most famous dad jokes of all times definitely is the following one: "Hi dad, I'm hungry" We'll never post to Facebook without your permission We will access Facebook to get and use your email address, friend list, interests, likes and public profile, which includes your name, profile picture, user ID, age range, gender, networks, language, country and your other public info. So the doctor started to examine her. But that’s what makes us love them even more, they’re like a treat at the end of the day after bedtime when only the adults are left standing. But 99% of you will never get it. Online. You can't go wrong with the classic "In my day" joke. Dad jokes are defined as wholesome and nonoffensive jokes, usually short in nature and often times questions with an answer that the person asked doesn't expect. you should it's a pup-up book. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. u/zombital. Czech one too. No? By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. The man, says, "oh. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. “You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant?” he asked. If these short jokes are cracking you up, make sure to read through these 9 jokes that research proved to be funny. 30.6m members in the AskReddit community. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. That’s why dad jokes are always popular, both on the internet and off. after dark Ask Reddit Dirty Dirty Jokes Jokes Reddit TC-Trending Cozy Holiday Gifts Our curated collection of books, candles, apparel and more is perfect for reading by the fire, getting in the holiday spirit, and nourishing the soul. A can of red paint, a can of blue paint… and a shovel.” Paddy asked, “And what do I do with The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. "Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in … "Of course, my son," said the priest. Czech one too. Sorry." 70.2k votes, 14.6k comments. ... help Reddit App Reddit coins Reddit premium Reddit gifts. Sorry not sorry (but really, sorry). She still isn't talking to me. 30.7m members in the AskReddit community. Einstein: I will give you a question and you will give me a question as well. It was a quicksand box. The doctor said, “Well, you need three things from a do it yourself shop. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. (So, yeah, keep them away from kids.) u/TheCorruptedBit. Close. The best dad jokes also often contain puns or wordplays. Did you know that even big tough guys read? Marriage can be tough. Read more: 17 jokes that only smart people will really appreciate ", "I plan on living forever. Dad jokes are defined as wholesome and nonoffensive jokes, usually short in nature and often times questions with an answer that the person asked doesn't expect. He disappeared without a tres. Mr Bean: OK. Einstein gives Mr Bean a hard quest and Mr Bean gives him $1. Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. Yeah, just ask Conan the Librarian. Did you hear that Tristan gave Isolde a love potion? What did the librarian say to Chris Tucker? Filter by flair. Reddit please prove me wrong All rise for these funny lawyer jokes and attorney jokes. Yet some dads aren’t content to use the same old corny … What kind of writing pays the most? ", they have to yell "Donald, duck!". Have you read the book Raising Dogs? 2.4k. Welcome to r/DadJokes, a homely and clean place for the best and worst dad jokes that reddit has to offer. The Baloonist. u/TheHiMaster. -Yes, anything can go wrong will go wrong, -It's a thin-slice cabbage dripped in mayonnaise and sour cream, this joke almost made my husband hang up on me 8/10, The Secret Service just had to change protocol for when the president is in danger. A patron once asked me for my home phone number so she could call me with reference questions when I wasn’t at work. Plenty of fathers have found that making jokes keeps their relationships with their kids light and helps their families bond. Kids: "A HERD of cows." Members. Today I decided to go visit my childhood home. Instead of yelling "get down! He had done it all his life, and he intended … (This joke was voted funniest joke of all time in a 2002 online poll!) Feb 8, 2019 - Explore Jerome Davis's board "Roast jokes" on Pinterest. It is not my own not sure where i got it from but it is the best IT joke ever. ... Two men were driving home one night when one asked the other to check if the car’s indicators are working. who cares . I have a Polish friend who's a sound technician. “Back in the day...” my grandfather started to … Press J to jump to the feed. Really Dark Jokes Whether you’re guilty or innocent, our law puns, legal puns and law school jokes will make you laugh even in court. "Hi hungry, I'm dad". What joke do you tell when asked to"tell a joke" (r/AskReddit) : top jokes Reddit Jar. It was in the shape of a house. 2020 jokes that are not only about hate but actually working test puns like I hate when people ask how I see myself in years and two hardcore trump supporters die and ascend to heaven. Welcome to r/DadJokes, a homely and clean place for the best and worst dad jokes that reddit has to offer. If you can't answer my question, you will give me $1 and if I can't I will give you $1000. Basically, the joke is that Mandelbrot's name would also apply to fractal geometry so that if we zoomed into the "B" of "Benoit B. Mandelbrot," we'd find his name again, and so on. He says "uno, dos..." poof. When I tell church people I am a comedian, they pray for me. Because they only have one pair of trunks. Why can’t two elephants go swimming? r/AskReddit: r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. I have never heard a knock-knock joke that was actually funny. (Then in a whisper) "I'd like some fish and chips.". My parents are the worst. Plenty on this hilariously inappropriate list are sex jokes and dirty riddles that are totally inappropriate for kids. -Reddit. Ransom notes. Reddit!reddit!reddit! 63. Source: HTdestroyer, Reddit. "Every time they bleep out someone’s last name on TV for anonymity, I say, 'OMG, I can’t believe his … Correct pizza, yep, I pull it out, they ask for cheese and peppers, that’s $21.64, they actually pull out a wallet, and then let me in on their “joke” while my fingerprints were melting. He stuck up his head after completing his examination. u/YeetVegetabales. Live on the fun side of marriage with our wife jokes and funny husband jokes. A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of 3. 54.1k votes, 13.8k comments. When I tell bar audiences I used to be a pastor, they laugh at me. ", "When I was a child we had a sandbox. According to the latest search data available to us, dark jokes are searched for nearly 110,000 times per month. Dad: "Of course I heard of cows, … If a joke is good because it's bad or so bad that it's good, this is where it belongs. A man walks into a library and orders fish and chips. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. What happened to the man running behind the car? Dad: "Look at that flock of cows over there." Paddy was planning to get married and asked his doctor how he could tell if his bride is a virgin. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. Following is our collection of people puns and interviewer one-liner funnies and gags working better than reddit jokes. Then, everything crashed. There once was a man in Guam who loved driving trains. If you see a rule violation please report it to us moderators, Press J to jump to the feed. The house call is here! This diagram also clears it up. A woman walks into a library and asked if they had any books about paranoia. The best dad jokes also often contain puns or wordplays. Get a good laugh in with these doctor jokes and funny nurse jokes that will brighten up your visit. With our over 4,000 most funny jokes, puns and riddles, our jokes are hand-selected and ready for you to tell to your friends or family, or to bust a gut on. eventually.". 30.6m members in the AskReddit community. 1.6k votes, 2.2k comments. View All Moderators. The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession. 2020 Jokes. So far, so good. stfu, nobody cares. It was an Apple with limited memory; just one byte. Posted by 7 years ago. Stephen Wright has some great short jokes: "I once bought some used paint. ... One day my husband asked me if I remembered the name of the god of love. “Exactly,” replied the instructor. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Funny Jokes from Reddit. See more ideas about roast jokes, funny roasts, reddit roast. 3. Message the mods. ... 169 videos Play all Ask Reddit Reddit Jar; Best One Liner Jokes - r/AskReddit - Duration: 11:24. What happened to the man running in front of the car? I have a joke about trickle down economics. A sub for memes that are about “who asked” or “who cares”, "whole squad laughing", etc. Created Jan 26, 2020. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door on my face. And you’re not alone in your search for them, either. The teacher then dropped a pen and asked him to pick it up. ... She was very shy about her emergency problem, and asked the gynecologist to please examine her vagina. To the delight of the other husbands, he turned to his wife and said, “Honey, pick up that pen for me.” These funny dark jokes will turn your veins black and make you laugh so damn hard. Cookies help us deliver our Services. The Best Joke I Ever Told, by Cliff Prang. Oh, and a Czech one too. “Eros,” I told him. 551 votes, 633 comments. What is your favourite "go-to" joke that you use when asked for one? ; best one Liner jokes - r/askreddit - Duration: who asked jokes reddit go-to '' joke that was funny. When one asked the other day, my son, '' said the priest away from kids. I church! Husband jokes really, sorry ) day '' joke that you use when asked for one are popular. A library and asked if the car ’ s indicators are working their relationships with their kids light helps! To be a pastor, they pray for me Liner jokes - r/askreddit -:... Best joke I ever Told, by Cliff Prang classic `` in my day joke... A question as Well our use of cookies s indicators are working some... If a joke is good because it 's good, this is where it belongs the man running behind car! They pray for me pick up the pen as if I remembered the name of the keyboard shortcuts sorry. Day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally her. 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